So hey, Scribblenauts Unmasked – the DC flavoured spin on the Scribblenauts formula – doesn’t feature any Marvel heroes. That’s understandable – the licensing rights for both would cost a fortune, and neither property wants to see their heroes getting their arses kicked by the other. But that didn’t stop me from setting up some Marvel vs DC brawls the moment I started up the game.
Batman vs Wolverine
Batman is the first hero you encounter in Scribblenauts Unmasked, so I thought I’d best pit him against one of the Marvel’s most iconic figures. This angry wolverine was a vicious little blighter, but Batman was able to use his stealth, cunning, and absurd rich white-man privilege to fell the noble beast.
Batwoman vs Daredevil
The only way to get these potential allies to fight one another is to turn one evil, but somehow even an evil Daredevil wasn’t enough to spurn Ms Kane into action. The Daredevil went straight for poor Maxwell until I clicked on Batwoman and changed her to a ‘virtuous’ version of herself. She won in the end, but it was an empty victory for the battered child she had ignored.
Green Lantern vs Green Goblin
Who could ignore the possibilities of this colour-crazed match-up? The Green Lantern immediately set about blasting the goblin, which seemed, truth be told, ready for the sweet embrace of death, into oblivion. To see this sun-starved creature die is to wonder whether the terrible power wielded by Hal Jordan is truly in safe hands.
Martian Manhunter vs Fantastic Four
I don’t know if I truly buy the Fantastic properties of this particular Four. Martian Manhunter seemed incredulous as well, strolling around casually as the Four jabbed its pointed edges into poor Maxwell’s face. Eventually the martian turned on the number, seemingly out of boredom, and wiped it out with devastating ease. Yowzer.
Nightwing vs Iron Man
Dammit, Dick Grayson. You might have been a worthy successor to the cowl after Alan Moore went and did all that stuff he did a few years back, but your utter refusal to fight a man of iron – even after I went and added a ‘heroic’ adjective to you – speaks volumes of the differences between you and Bruce. As Iron Man brutally assaulted young Maxwell and Nightwing stood aside, examining his staff, it became clear that this fight had no winners, only losers.
Wonder Woman vs Storm
Wonder Woman is awesome. Storm’s also kind of awesome, what with all their lightning and whatnot. But evidently, Wonder Woman is more awesome, perfectly capable of punching a (presumably mutated) cloud to death.
Superman vs Incredible Hulk
In The Avengers, the Hulk is the secret weapon, the most powerful member of the team and an incredible ally once he controls his anger. In Scribblenauts Unmasked, the Incredible Hulk is a big ship. Is it incredible? I guess if we’re to be generous with our adjectives. Superman beat the hell out of it.
Swamp Thing vs Black Widow
It turns out that not even a Swamp Thing, who you’d think would be pretty open-minded about this sort of thing, has much tolerance for spiders.
Bonus Round: Batman vs Superman
Who can resist the allure of Batman fighting Superman? Not Frank Miller circa 1986, which is why Bats’ Dark Knight Returns outfit is available in the game. The two engaged in a surprisingly epic fight across the streets of Gotham, but Batman failed to realise one thing – this wasn’t a city, it was an operating table, and Superman was the surgeon. The Man of Steel eventually brutalised his best friend to death without taking a single point of damage…perhaps Maxwell should have dropped a nuke on him first.